Friday, April 06, 2018

The only way out is through

18"x18" embroidered muslin

ink on paper version

How do I escape this endless loop of negative thoughts? Circling and cycling over and over and over again. It is being kicked when I’m already down. My bootstraps break off in my hands. I try to give this whirlpool of anxiety a positive spin but no one has happy thoughts at 3 a.m. and the darkness pulls me right back in. A scratched record with a skip. A roundabout without exit jolted by the same bumps and potholes with each circulation. The more I struggle, the deeper I sink into the muck of my mind. A hurricane of despondency draining my energy and gaining momentum. Destroying any beauty or joy caught in its path. On a downward spiral, about to slip down the drain. Worn out from clinging frantically to an increasingly unreliable ledge. One more thing will push me over the edge. I repeat the words of Robert Frost like a mantra -- the only way out is through THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH the only way out is through.

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